Helbram Goes Shopping
by Alexandrorca
Summary: A look into one of Helbram's early excursions into the human world, and his attempt to find the perfect present for his best friend.


Helbram moved through the stalls in the human marketplace, the other fairies in tow. They flitted from booth to booth, exclaiming over this and that and then quickly losing interest. But not Helbram. He was on a mission. His goal: to find the perfect gift for his best friend, Harlequin.

He laughed as he thought of what his lazy friend would be doing back in the Forest. Sleeping his days away, most likely. It was Harlequin's turn to watch over the spring of the sacred tree for the next hundred years (rather than his sister, Elaine) and Helbram felt bad leaving his friend in the midst of his boredom. That's why he wanted to get him a present, something to cheer him up while he guarded the spring.

Besides, maybe a well-crafted gift from the human world would ease his harsh views of humans a little. It was worth a shot, right?

But what to buy?

Helbram couldn't hide his excitement as he walked- not flew, because he didn't want to stand out TOO much around humans- around the human market. Everything was just so bright, and beautiful, and artistic, and well… shiny! He was fascinated by the sheer amount of effort and time humans put into creating beautiful things despite such a short life span. He found it so remarkable!

But Harlequin wasn't like Helbram. The green-haired-fairy could already imagine the fairy King's response to any of these colorful knickknacks.

"But what is it for?"

"It doesn't need to be _for_ anything, Harlequin, it's just… nice."

Helbram could perfectly picture the confused pout on his friend's face. "But what do I _do_ with it?"

No, something purely aesthetic wouldn't do for Harlequin. Not if it was human-made. He'd probably rather Helbram find him a flower or something that didn't require spending any human money. Or-

"You buying, or just looking?"

Whoops. Helbram hadn't realized he'd been spacing out and staring in the general direction of some finely decorated metal spoons.

Hm. A spoon. That could be useful. It also had a very lovely design, a spoon fit for a King. This made him laugh aloud, as he could never get used to the idea of his crybaby Harlequin being their King.

Oh. Now the human was looking confused at the clearly crazy fairy. Well, that wasn't a very good way to improve human and fairy relations. But he couldn't buy it just like that, right? Humans had a process when they buy things at the market, a specific method to their actions. It was time for some haggling.

Heh heh. _Haggle_. Humans had the best words.

"So." Helbram cleared his throat and tried to make himself look taller. "This is a great spoon here. Looks very good for… soup. Yes. How much?"

The human stared at him dumbfounded, then began a harsh cackle. "These aren't spoons for eating! They're decorations! You know, for your home?"

Helbram suddenly was struck by the image of Harlequin hanging decorative spoons on every tree in the forest, including the sacred tree. Sometimes, Helbram didn't understand humans either. Apparently the other fairies felt the same way, as they could be heard muttering amongst themselves. "But… what good is a spoon if you can't eat with it?" "That's not a spoon at all!"

"Yeah, what good's a spoon you can't eat with?" Helbram echoed with narrowed eyes.

The human glared back at him, and Helbram realized he may have botched that encounter, and it was probably a good idea to move onto the next stall. The others followed, frowning back over their shoulders at the spoon seller, who was looking mournfully at his wares as though they had let him down.

As they moved on, a booth selling musical instruments caught their collective eye. With gasps of delight, the fairies zoomed over to the wares and began to play. No song was exactly like the other, yet they did not clash, but instead intertwined into an achingly beautiful harmony. The humans in and around the stall were at first startled, then enchanted as the music played on.

Pretty, Helbram admitted, but it simply wouldn't do. His dear Harlequin couldn't carry a tune to save the Fairy King's Forest. Helbram moved on.

Some items were more promising. For example, there was a booth of hair products and implements that Helbram thought might be great for Harlequin's eternal bedhead. It was about time he started looking more kingly, and this comb might do the trick. But no, their King would probably just get offended and the gift would never be used…but Helbram might backtrack to this stall later and pick up something for himself.

After a while he started to get hungry, so he and the other fairies- at least, the ones who had torn themselves from the instruments- went off in search of food. The problem was, most human food seemed to have one distressing trait in common.

"Why is everything _meat_." A purple fairy whispered loudly.

Helbram shushed her. "It's a culture thing."

Eventually they followed their noses to a cart selling "fruit fritters", which appeared to be fruit wrapped in some kind of dough and then dipped in hot oil. The process amazed the impressionable group, but Helbram was having difficulty just getting past the name.

"Fruit fritter. Fruit fritter. Fruitfritterfruitfritterfruitfritter-"

"By the goddesses, Helbram." The fairy he'd shushed before hissed. " _Do_ shut up."

"We'll have a dozen, uh, fruit fritters." Helbram couldn't help but snort at the end and a few fairies behind him giggled.

After marveling at row after row of pretty baubles, he finally came across a merchant selling arms. Well, that could work! Harlequin couldn't complain about a gift that would help him to do his job as fairy King! Perfect.

The green haired fairy was suddenly aware of his small frame as he gazed upon bulky pieces of armor. No, that wouldn't do it all. If it wouldn't fit him, it had no chance of fitting that tiny Harlequin.

He walked about, staring at the complicated designs. Of all the arts humans strived in, he could never understand the obsession with embellishing armor. Since humans had so many other talents, it seemed a waste to spend so much energy on something that was only used when harming other people.

Finally, an attendant noticed his interest- though attendant may not have been the right word. He was a large, imposing man, with hair a few darker shades of green than Helbram's own. A metal circle covered his eye.

"Looking for something in particular?" The man said in a gruff, but kind voice.

Not intimidated in the slightest, Helbram nodded with a smile. "Do you have anything a bit smaller?"

The man smiled back, and Helbram was glad that a human was being so friendly to him.

"Something more fairy sized?"

"Yes! For my friend."

"Let's see… I think I have a child's helmet in the back…"

Helbram bristled at the word "child", but tried to ignore it. The man brought out a strange helmet. It was round, with curved ridges all around the bottom. It did seem small enough to fit a human child fairy, and definitely a fairy. The strange part about it was the small horns that protruded from either side of it.

It was quirky. It was mildly ridiculous. Helbram liked it immediately.

"I'll take it!" Helbram said excitedly, forgetting to haggle.

Helbram handed over the money (it really wasn't that much), and thanked the man. "I'm going to show all my friends right now!"

But before he could leave, the man asked, "You come with a lot of fairies?"

Helbram nodded again, "yes! We've come to learn more about the humans."

"You know, there's only so much you can learn about humans from just one town. My… associates and I, we travel from town to town selling our wares. Why don't you join us? I bet you'd really learn a lot."

"Do you really mean it?" Helbram said, eyes wide, "you'd really let us travel with you?"

"Yeah, why not."

"I- Wow! Thank you! I'm going to go find my friends and tell them right now!" Of course, he'd wanted to get back to the forest sooner to give Harlequin his present, but that could wait. Harlequin had to guard the tree for decades, it wasn't like he was going anywhere. And this was the opportunity a lifetime!

The man beamed at him, "yeah, go tell your friends. We leave tomorrow at dawn, so you all meet us at this stall, you hear?"

"Right! See you tomorrow then!" At this point, Helbram was too excited to stay on the ground, and flew off with the helmet to go gather the other fairies. A chance to travel with humans! Just wait till he told Harlequin!


End file.
